This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
