I am puke
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
