You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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