i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
