1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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