she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The cops high fived after they tackled you
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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