it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
