my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
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