Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
