You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
