Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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