she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
