Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
