your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Randomize
