He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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