If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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