Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
