I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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