if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
