How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Randomize
