it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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