I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
