After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
