Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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