hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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