You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
