he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
