She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
