i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
not ubering you a puppy
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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