Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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