chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
