Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
