i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
