I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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