Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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