Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
