Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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