The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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