im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
