I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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