is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
