Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
