Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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