break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
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