I'm really into asian looking animals
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
