wat bout pragnant strippers??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
