Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
