Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
