Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
