i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
