well you can't waste a boner
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
