I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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