after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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