yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
