Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
