Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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