new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
