He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
