I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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