I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
