what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
