Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
