if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
