I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
The Olympian is in my bed
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize