she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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