omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
