I puked a lego.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
