Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
