All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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