I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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