Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
