i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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