My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
