Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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