marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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